November 05, 2011

The Little Words

I've made a very fine discovery.

In casual situations, I frequently use the words um, like, uh, and ah, despite being taught that these words are bad. (Hey, I'm a linguist. You'd have a hard time convincing me that "bad" is not an arbitrary label for words.)

Now what I've discovered is that I use each of these words in a fairly regular way. I think this is kind of awesome.

Want some details?

I use like directly before a word or phrase that I'm emphasizing, and usually there's a slight pause after like to add to the tension/stress/emphasis. For example: "I have to work, like, nine days in a row, all extended hours, and they're all night shifts!"

I use uh when someone has said something, well, that tends to be a bit obvious during a moment of slight stupidity. It's a moment for me to pause and not immediately call someone out on their mistake. It's a moment for them to correct themselves and for me to find a way to gently respond, whether I choose to address the mistake or not. Usually this is followed by "I think", as if I have an alternate opinion on the mistake or as if I'm unsure or might be mistaken myself. Interesting, no? Sometimes I use this to pause, as if I'm thinking, even though I know I'm right. (If I'm not right and I really am thinking, I use a drawn out hmmm or ummm.)

While ah is a common indicator of understanding or agreement in my speech, particularly when drawn out as ahhhhhh, I also tend to use it to introduce suggestions. As in, "Ah, let's make a trip to the store before we make plans for tonight." Or, "Ah, we should give that kitty a fine brushing."

So. Pretty cool that these little words carry more meaning than the sloppy speech they're usually labelled as, no?

January 09, 2011

Uncovering the Squeaky Wheel

How to tell if your little wheeled suitcase is concealing a squeaky wheel from you (and how to make said suitcase reveal its true colours):

1. Request a whack of books from the library. Recommended count of "whack": 22.

2. Take empty suitcase to library.

3. Check out all requested books and load them into the suitcase.

4. Wheel suitcase to nearest bus stop. Preferably in winter.

5. Smile! Your suitcase has confessed its true nature. (Or, alternatively, weep: you don't have a squeaky wheel. Your life means nothing.)

October 18, 2010

Sam Katz's New Tactic

Guy knocked on the door last week and I was home to answer.

"Hi, I'm with the Fire Department here in support of Sam Katz. Do you know if you'll be voting for Sam Katz in the election on October 27th?"

"I'm a Permanent Resident. I can't vote."

"Would you like a sign for your yard?"

"No."

Sam Katz: boldly reaching out to the often overlooked I-can't-fricking-vote demographic.

November 09, 2008

Got jiggy at a Halloween funeral.

It wasn’t so much of the gettin’ jiggy, really, as a neurological [issue] day. I managed fine, though all the shakiness made my legs extremely sore when the jiggy settled down. So ibuprofen happened and then sleep and then a long car drive. And another, longer, car drive after that. (Hopefully the ibuprofen will continue to relieve post-jiggy soreness like it did at the time.) And then I left The South by heading southerly. And then there was much less stress. And then the chances of my gettin’ jiggy or using the word “jiggy” should should SHOULD have been minimized. Let’s minimize jigginess, m-kay? I’ll draw a nice little parabola and we’ll use basic calculus to find the minimum jigginess. And somewhere in quadrants I, II, III or IV lies a line that represents usage of the word “jiggy” by my own lips. And somewhere this line intersects the parabola. And somewhere there is a low occurrence of jigginess that corresponds with low usage of “jiggy”. Let’s find that intersection and aim for it. (30 points.)

September 02, 2008

An Infamous Army, An Infamous Disappointment

I like fiction. I like history. I like historical fiction.


When discovering this book on Mini Book Expo, I was intrigued. Historical fiction fascinates me. It's educational but usually brings a personal light to things, and that subjective view reveals nuances, ambiguities, emotions that simply aren't often found in a purely historical tome. Usually. Usually that's how it works. Reading praise, unpaid blurbs, for Heyer's book, I thought I might be on to a new source of good historical fiction. And a 2007 reprint (by Sourcebooks) of a book originally published in 1937 should indicate some merit to the book, no?

No. Heyer's book fails deliciously, astoundingly, and (oh ho ho) infamously. We open with a small social gathering in which all characters and players are gossiped about in order to be introduced. Is that a moment of wit when it is said that tying a cravat is an inborn skill, not something everyone can master? Is it a slight? Is it a combination of the two? Unfortunately, the focus on clothing is paralyzingly shallow. That would be where the realism fleets in for a moment or so. But the contrived introduction of characters through gossip is painfully amateur. No one has a real opinion for themselves, but they spit out insipid background details that are too bland to even set the scene. And the stilted and stifling conversation does nothing to lure me in; I am demanding, and if such language is used, there ought to be a reason, whether based in history or in mockery of history or in mockery of historical writers. But I don't think that's the case in An Infamous Army. I suspect that blind romanticism may be at play, and here Heyer would just be manipulating the Battle of Waterloo into something more easily understood by herself: fanciful language with little basis in reality, pretty dresses, and the notion that all this imagined romanticism has left the world by the time she gets around to writing the book.

Oh, yes, the Battle of Waterloo is in here somewhere. In fact, once the characters are properly introduced through unnaturally crafted dialogue, they seem to fade out. In comes a history lesson. The distinct separation between sections of fiction and history, in use of language but no visual division on the page, creates a laughable effect. I can't fault Heyer for her historical research, and when she writes in the Author's Note that she avoided studying French historical records—presumably because that might give her non-French characters an inappropriate omniscience—I do find myself offering her great respect.

But dear lord, I think the respect ends there. This is bad fiction alternating with history lessons. The fiction leaves headaches from constant cringing at frivolity and hardly makes use of real history. As I've said, I'm demanding. In historical fiction, I expect history and fiction to be so entwined that I am inspired to do research so as to determine what is true and what is not. Heyer's book leaves me completely apathetic.

To be fair, a book published shortly after the Great Depression may have been meant for mere entertainment and escapism; then, if ever, I'm sure it was needed. If anyone could have afforded it. I suppose I could be generous and examine the book within the context of that time as a desperate attempt to get away from life, but the absence of real hardship in this writing is rather inexplicable. We have here a book around a battlefield, a book also written during genuinely difficult times, and yet there's no real sense of urgency or sacrifice or injustice of living. Dry history combined with shallow fiction. It's escapism at its best, but literature of the weakest sort. Yet in order to be escapism for people like myself, a book needs to be slightly relatable. History presented as archaic stories does nothing for me. Fiction full of shallow obsessions that aren't social commentary does nothing for me. It's not escapism for me, it's not reality for me, it's not literature, and it only passingly involves history.

And there's the crux of it all: this book wasn't written for me. In the Author's Note, Heyer says this book was an ambition of hers. Of hers alone. Something to do for herself. Suddenly, we have a woman in the 1930s who disregards all that's going on around her to fulfill her own damn desire. And suddenly, I have more respect for Heyer the woman than Heyer the author. Her book is not a success in literature, but a success for herself. I suppose that's something.

Note: It has been suggested that I give this book five out of five stars if it contains mention of time-travelling cats from the future. Unfortunately, Heyer once again falls short. I withhold a star rating.

November 05, 2007

Update?

MRI: normal.
Walking: happening.
Ambulance bill: ouch.
Anterograde amnesia: fading.
Sunlight: still painful.
Hypersensitivity: less Parkonsonian.
Sleep medications: NONE.

October 29, 2007

Flavourful

Bedtimes. They has a flavour.
This day. It has a flavour.
My pants. They has a flavour.
My rouladen... they has a flavour.
These lamps. They has a flavour.
This scent... it has a flavour.
My fancy pens. They has a flavour.
My puppy. She has a flavour.